In which Kid1 takes a great idea, flies with it, and then shows his true colors.
The following is an email sent to Kid1's 2nd grade teacher on Monday:
Dear Mrs. D, (as dictated by Kid1)
My idea is our class can
raise $20 to buy a flock of chicks for a hungry family in Africa.
There's an organization called Heifer, who give animals to people who
are hungry and need them. They bring the animals to families that need
I am hoping my class can raise $20 for a flock of chicks.
If my class can do that, my mom will give us an extra $20 to help a
second family. The latest time we could do it is Christmas, so it can
be a Christmas present to them.
I want to do this to make another
family's life easier to live. I have chickens and I think they produce
enough eggs to last you for a long time. And you can also use the eggs
to get money so you can buy other things. And the droppings are good
for fertilizing your garden and especially your vegetables, so it's
easier for vegetables to grow, and that gives you some nutrition, too.
Is this idea ok?
have programs called Read to Feed where children earn money for each
extra book they read, and Change for Chores, where they earn money for
doing extra chores, and different children could do different things. I
could tell the children about this and ask them to tell their parents
about it, and could you put this in the Friday newsletter if it is ok? I
would ask the children to tell their parents because some parents might
not read the newsletter. Even though you've asked them to read the
newsletter a thousand times (Rebecca interjects that she reads the
This is her response:
Hi Rebecca and Kid1,
sounds like a wonderful idea! I would LOVE for Kid1to share this idea
with the class...It fits in PERFECTLY with our persuasive
writing/reading unit that we have started. I like that it is a dollar
donation per child (and teacher). I personally love the idea! It also
fits well with our unit study of Around the World for Social Studies,
plus is a lovely way to give back to others!
SO, for his
persuasive writing this week, he'll write it up. I'm happy to write it
in the newsletter too! Tell Kid1 to chat with me tomorrow (probably
right before Snack Recess because I have a meeting in the am). Then we
can share the idea with the class. I think we could make the goal to
collect the money by Dec. 14, that way there's time to figure it out
before Winter Break.
So Tuesday he
wrote it up and apparently also told the class about it, because this
morning he reported that "We already have $7 and that's just from TWO
The idea was originally mine - we got a Heifer catalog
and I was flipping through it and asked the kid if he thought his class
would like to get a hungry family a goat. But he was adamant that a
flock of chicks was the way to go. He loves his chickens. (By the way, in case inquiring minds want to know - that newt eating chicken is still kicking. We're still not eating the blue eggs, just in case). But the kid has
flown with it after the initial suggestion. His approach can be a bit
R: "Kid1, this is great that your class decided to do it, you might be saving some child's life."
K: "Saving their LIFE??"
R: [sadly] "Yes, children die of hunger every day, sweety."
K: [enthusiastically] "I hope that the child that gets our chickens is right about to die, and then our chickens come, and they don't die.
(pause) Well, it'll take some time for the chicks to grow up and lay
eggs, so I hope they're ok until they chickens are right about to lay
their first again, and then the child is right about to die and they don't because the chickens start to lay eggs."
R: [stunned silence]
This is why no right thinking adult ever, ever, ever wants to relive their school years. Kids, even the seemingly nice ones, are secretly demonic. It's a proven fact. It's scientific. Small Demon People.